Ki's Space

Family Ties

2008-05-22T09:54:00.001-07:00

My children are my life.

A recurring thought I keep having over the past few weeks. In many ways that's a good thing and sometimes it can possibly be negative. The love that I feel for my children rivals anything I have ever felt in my life. In a moment I can possess superhuman strength if they need to be rescued, saved, or kept from some pending evil or doom. I can turn into a cross between Rog's mom from What's Happening, Florida Evans, and Weezy Jefferson if I need to deliver the pain. I can soulja boy across the living room floor, play a quick game of Tekken, dress a few barbies, and even catch a cramp on the basketball court. I'll do anything for my kids. What happens when we can't save them from hurt, harm, danger, or even sickness. This morning I read an article about Christian Music Artist, Steven Curtis Chapman, his five year old daughter was killed by an SUV that hit her. The SUV, was driven by one of his older sons. How do you grieve for the loss of your child but at the same time console the one who caused their death. Life.

I watch this same dilemma with my step sister and her husband. Their oldest daughter became ill last fill. She had continuous seizures. Tests were done to diagnose her with epilepsy. Instead of determining that she had epilepsy, they found five small clusters of tumors on her brain stem. Medication and Chemotherapy followed. A vibrant nine year old was reduced to a sickly, bedridden child. Soon she regained her strength, appetite, and feisty nature. All while her family, friends, and church members prayed for the best. Nine months later, a reversal of fortune. The clusters are growing rapidly. More medication, chemotherapy, and now radiation. How do you tell a ten year old with gorgeous hair down her back, that it could possibly not grow back in the spot where the radiation will be concentrated. It's affected her life. She's no longer schooled with friends but home schooled because of the constant appointments and trips to the doctor offices. She can run and she can play for a while, but she has to stop when she tires out. Without a moments notice she reverts from ten to three. Crying and wanting you to comfort her out of fear. She's scared and how do you ease that fear. You can say all the prayers in the world but how do you take what she's feeling away? How do you tell her to ignore it? You can't, because her battle is real.

My children are my life.

I can put a band - aid on a cut. Pass my little girl her inhaler when she can't breathe. I can't imagine losing them or dealing with an illness as severe as what my niece goes through. I'm content being super mommy and I don't want to think for a moment that won't always be able to fix their problems. Right their wrongs. Kiss away the hurt. My children are my life.

Just Another Day On The Job...

2008-03-12T16:11:00.000-07:00

Moments like these really make me ashamed to reside in South Carolina. I don't know why these family members took their frustration out on the African - American news anchor. Sad, that such hate still exists.

Preconceived Notions

2008-03-11T12:14:00.000-07:00

Recently I had a conversation with a classmate. She asked what she thought was a harmless question and provided what she believed to be an even more harmless opinion. Why do African - Americans attend HBCUs? She even went as far as to ask why these universities existed? In her opinion, African - Americans were fostering a racist attitude by attending these universities, establishing scholarships solely for students from our community, and maintaining memberships with organizations that boast about African - American only membership. My grandmother has a saying and it’s one that I pretty much agree with, “If you never opened your mouth, people wouldn’t know you were a fool.” While I was having this conversation with this individual that phrase kept playing over and over in my head. Then I had to really evaluate the situation and look at it from her point of view. Which only brought about frustration. It’s difficult for me to understand, why when African Americans exhibit pride in their culture we are viewed as racist. I honestly don’t believe my classmate meant any harm. I think she’s possibly trying to search for understanding and hopefully our conversations will provide what she needs.

Still, this matter goes deeper than a poorly phrased question. We see this issue daily. Whether you’re in corporate America or a presidential candidate in an election. It’s almost as if we’re forced to separate ourselves from those who appear to be too “pro black.” We have two faces, one we wear for the world to see, and the other that we show when we are with those who understand our daily struggle. Why do we have to maintain this charade. When we display pride in our culture or ethnicity we’re often compared to another group, with three letters. Yet there’s a difference between trying to create an atmosphere of appreciation and tearing down another.

When I Say Bigtop...You Say Circus...

2008-03-10T05:23:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, I took the kids to The Universoul Circus.

It has been a few years since, I attended the SOULLLLLLLLLLLLLLL CIRCUSSSSSSSSSSS, and I am kicking myself for missing the last four years. The show was awesome. I will never go see Barnum and Bailey again. Now if you are the type who enjoys the structure of B&B and you want a big stage, clowns, and lots death defying acts, don’t go to the Soul Circus. If you love music, laughing with your neighbors, and actually being involved in the event, go to the Soul Circus.

I really can’t put in to words, how much I enjoyed the show today. I was more excited than my kids. We’ve done the Barnum and Bailey thing and it had been four years since I took my son to see Universoul Circus. At the time my daughter was a baby and she didn’t get to go. So this was her first visit to the Soul Circus. I was worried, because when the first act came out she didn’t get too excited. When the lights first go down and it’s the ballerina/gymnast, how excited is a five year old really supposed to get. Right about this time the vendors start walking around. It doesn’t take long for the kids to pick up on the fact that if you raise your hand they’ll come right to you. So I bought a $3 soda, $7 cotton candy, and a light up toy that cost the price of sodas. I love the fact that although this circus caters mostly to those who identify with the African - American culture, you see representatives of every ethnic group employed at the circus. They’re training animals, working as part of the acts, or a member of the crew. It gave me a little hope. If they get it, if they know we can come together despite culture, background, or ethnicity to be successful then eventually we’ve got to get it in the real world. That’s a different blog and I digress.

I enjoyed it all. The Rough Riders - a group of men and women who do tricks while riding horses. Ladies, let me say, that some of the men will cause you to completely ignore the horse. How I love a man with long dreads, let me count the ways. One of the women did a trick where she goes all the way around the horse. She’s the only woman in the US who does this. My mouth was hanging wide open. There’s another group, from Beijing, that just went Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon on some poles. Amazing. There were just flying back and forth between the poles. The ringmaster Tony Tone and Z were a wonderful duo. Everyone was waiting for the Soul Train line and it delivered many laughs. There was even an Apollo style kids dance competition. Most of the kids stopped dancing mid way through the competition until Crank Dat by Soulja Boy came on. I thought the tent was going to fly away, the majority of the audience, grandparents, parents, and kids stood up to Crank Dat. I’m not going to lie at one point, Whodini came on and I got real excited. The kids looked at me, like I had lost my mind.

My two favorite acts of the show were the Sheer Romance Aerial Act who performed to Alicia Keys, “Like You’ll Never See Me Again,” and the elephants. The aerial act performed on sheers and it was absolutely beautiful. The ringmaster warned people not to try it at home. He didn’t want anyone’s neighbors calling 911, because everyone was twisted up in their good drapes. The elephants, were precious. If its possible for a two ton elephant to be precious. They really were, the performed part of their act to J. Holliday’s, “Bed,” and all three elephants laid down on one another. Cute beyond words.

This is the fifteenth year of The Universoul Circus. This year’s theme is Jabulani, which is Zulu for, joy, laughter, and happiness. If this circus rolls into your town, get tickets immediately. You will feel an overwhelming amount of each of those emotions.

http://www.universoulcircus.com/index.php

Talk About Irony...

2008-03-10T05:10:00.000-07:00

Casey Knowles, the little girl featured in the Clinton Campaign's 3 A.M. ad is no longer a little girl. She is 17 now, and an active supporter of the Obama campaign for President. Old file footage was used to create the ad. A situation like this, just reaffirms that truth is not often found in advertising.

Wednesday Flashback

2008-03-05T08:45:00.001-08:00

The Morning After

2008-03-05T08:30:00.000-08:00

I have been M.I.A. lately. We're working on getting another blog started over at Wordpress and this one has kind of taken a backseat to that. It's rough to sit down and share my thoughts on Tuesday's primaries. I like every other Obama supporter in America had a jolt of reality last night. Hillary is playing hardball. She says one thing and does another. It's about the people but she will stop at nothing to win the nomination for her own reassurance not the people of the United States of America. Barack Obama is well positioned at this time. In order for Hillary to gain the Democratic nomination she will have to use every dirty and underhanded trick in the playbook. She's not above it and we all know that she is more than willing to use them, but what will happen to the Democratic party. What will happen to America. Again, we will see confirmation that its a power trip. It's not about what we want at all. It's not about making things better for the future of our children. It's about who can gain bragging rights for another four years. Now, as she playfully tosses around, adding Senator Obama to her ticket as second chair. His supporters are supposed to retreat quietly into the shadows and support her campaign. I cannot and will not. Come November, if Senator Obama is not the Democratic nominee, I will write in his name, but I will not support him on Hillary Clinton's ticket. She represents everything that is wrong with our nation. I've been reviewing other sites this morning. Reading news stories on Yahoo and CNN and one thing sticks out to me. Where there is Barack, there is Michele. She is supporting him in the background and the forefront. Where there is Hillary, there is Chelsea, or the "token" congressional member smiling for the cameras. Barack Obama represents unity. He's committed to this campaign with his family. Hillary is alone, with Bill out doing the dirty work. I guees its an attempt to distance herself from the scandal that comes with her husband. It's not going to happen. The picture is plain as day and this Democrat will not support you in November. In fact, should she gain the nomination, I may have to reconsider my party affiliation. I think I've outgrown the democratic label.

Dick Gregory

2008-02-28T06:20:00.000-08:00

Dick Gregory at The State of the Black Union dropping knowledge. Listen to the wisdom this man speaks.

Wednesday Flashback

2008-02-27T06:27:00.000-08:00

Bahamadia - Uknowhowwedu

Wordless Wednesday

2008-02-27T06:01:00.001-08:00

The After Party

2008-02-26T19:59:00.001-08:00

Now that the 20th debate is over and reporters and bloggers across the country are disputing who won and who will gain the most momentum from this debate, I have to admit that I think Obama won this debate hands down. Senator Obama displayed poise, character, restraint, humility, and genuine concern during Tuesday night's debate. He kept his cool when tested and rised above the attempts to coax him into a playground battle of slap my hand. The restraint he possesses is something that our current commander - in - chief has lacked for his entire term.

Alot has happened in the hours since the debate. Senator Obama's campaign has exceeded the million donor challenge. Representive Lewis from from GA has now thrown his support towards Obama instead of Clinton. A few individuals are feeling fear right now because Senator Obama has positioned himself as a real contender for president. Yes he's mocked for his eloquent speeches that call for us to believe in hope and be the change that we've been waiting for, yet the message is resonating. People are donating. Individuals are turning off the trash and watching CNN and MSNBC again. Teenagers and young adults are well versed in the issues we face as a country and are involving themselves in the political process.

I am proud of what I see happening around me. I am excited for what the days ahead hold. I truly believe that Barack Obama will be the Democratic Nominee who will go on to win the General Election.

The Main Event

2008-02-26T17:55:00.000-08:00

8:57pm - candidates walk out - greet the crowd and the moderators. O man seems calm.

9:00pm - Brian Williams welcomes everyone. The candidates are seated in this format as well. whispering a prayer that no boundaries will be crossed

9:03pm - Brian goes for it and directly questions Senator Clinton regarding her tone change since the last debate

*Senator Clinton rationalizes the change in her approach due to the differences in their two campaigns. She's standing up for herself against his tactics and schemes. We are right back on the healthcare debate. Is that her only leg to stand on beyond experience? There goes that 15 million number again. Is that number not discredited...misleading...inaccurate

9:06pm - Brian brings up The Drudge Report photo
*Senator Clinton has no direct knowledge

*Senator Obama again goes straight for the issue and no discussion on the political games that have been played in the past few days. He does address the 15 million number, yet again, as he has in the past debates. Senator Obama also calls attention to the mailings, ads, robocalls, and radio promos that paint his campaign in a negative light.

*Senator Clinton is back on Healthcare. Yes, its an important debate. Yes, its a core issue. Yet, why does she constantly twist his position. She still does not address his statement in reference to how she will enforce her mandate.

9:13pm - "This is too important." I really don't want to hear that statement anymore.

9:18pm - Much respect for Brian Williams. Now on to NAFTA.

*The reference to the SNL skit where they question if Barack is comfortable and needs another pillow was completely uncalled for.

9:21pm - Senator Clinton would like to get to a debate about the real issues. Wow.

9:21pm - Senator Obama's rebuttal on NAFTA - he calls attention to the fact that a policy needs to be good for Wall Street as well as Main Street. Fairness for all. He also calls attention to her shift in position on this issue.

9:24pm - Tim Russert is up on the NAFTA discussion and brings to the discussion all of her positive praise of NAFTA from the 1996 to 2004. Tim Russert brings up Al Gore's statement during a debate with Ross Perot that we can get out of NAFTA in six months. I see some steppin and fetchin going on.

9:28pm - Senator Obama actually agrees with Senator Clinton's re-negotiation position but his delivery is reassuring, strong, and full of humility. It's all about the delivery.

9:31pm - Have I told you lately that I love Tim Russert.
*Accountability - Senator Clinton has none. Tim Russert just asked her about her pledge to foster 200,000 new jobs in New York. There was a net loss of 30,000. Tim Russert questions her plan to create 5 million new jobs during her first term as President. She states that her plan was contingent upon Al Gore winning the presidency. Did you not have a plan B?

9:34pm - Brian Williams brings up Senator Clinton's comparison of Senator Obama to President George W. Bush.
*Years in Washington do not equate experience necessary to be President.

*Senator Clinton doesn't agree with him agreeing to meet with foreign leaders who are viewed negatively by America. How do we resolve the issue? Bombs. War.Shame on you?

9:41pm - Senator Obama looks really strong. Senator Clinton seems as if she's holding back. She doesn't want to come across too itch like

9:42pm - Tim Russert questions whether we will fight to stay in Iraq if they request we live due to their sovreignty.
*Senator Obama - "We can't be held hostage by the Iraqi government." Two fingers we out!!!!!!!!!!!

*Senator Clinton - agrees we can't stay without full cooperation.

9:45pm - Will you go back to Iraq if it goes to hell?
*Senator Clinton states that Tim Russert is posing many hypothetical questions. Duh. You're not president. The whole conversation is hypothetical. She unleashes criticism on Obama.

9:49pm - Why did Brian Williams just out talk the out talker to take a commercial break. I love it.

9:52pm - Back from break...let's get ready
*The infamous video of Senator Clinton mocking Senator Obama
*Senator Obama takes it in stride - applauds Senator Clinton's sense of humor

*Senator Obama calls attention that the voice of the people has not been heard over the last seven years. He's not speeches. He's not words. He's about helping those who have been hurt.

*The whole mocking Obama was the fun. DAMN. We are back on Healthcare again.

9:59pm - Senator Obama is asked about his remarks referencing co-presidency during her husband's term. Cherry picking what she wants to be responsible for.

10:02pm - Tim Russert questions Senator Obama about his promise of public financing for Presidential Campaigns. Senator Obama states that if he becomes the nominee he will sit down with Senator McCain and arrange a system that works for everyone

10:06pm - Tim Russert questions Senator Clinton about income and campaign funding. Particularly the loaning of 5 million dollars to her campaign. Also the release of the Clinton Tax Return. Soon. Eventually.

10:08pm - Louis Farrakhan's endorsement is questioned. Did he seek the support. Obama does not censor his support but he does disagree with his hateful rhetoric in the past - he continues to distance himself from Farrakhan

*Six degrees of separation - why are they working so hard to create a connection to Obama and Farrakhan

10:13pm - Clinton chimes in and states that she denied the support of hateful Independents during her senate run. Trying to make a jab at Senator Obama since he will not go on full fledged attack mode against Minister Farrakhan

10:19pm - Obama's Liberal Record

10:22pm - Foreign Affairs - Russia's upcoming election

*Did she just throw Darfur in there

10:29pm - Did he just use her proud line from the last debate but he's personalizing it and making it real. This man is ready.

10:30pm - What is the fundamental question to ask to prove her worth as a nominee?
*Again, Senator Obama takes the high road and says Senator Clinton is worthy but he's simply better. Turns his attack towards McCain instead of Clinton.

*Senator Clinton still intends to do EVERYTHING she can to win. The question she is posing is who can change the country. 35 years of experience. Experience and Healthcare. The only lines of attack that she has. Finally she picks up on the fighter angle in this campaign.

It's a wrap. How do you think they did?

Blogging While Watching The Debate

2008-02-26T17:35:00.000-08:00

Which Hillary will show up this evening?

Will Barack say enough, and release the inner city Chi town brother inside of him?

All these questions and more will be answered after 9pm EST.

Jack and Jill Politics: A Call To Action: Stop These Clinton Attacks By Defeating Her

2008-02-26T06:52:00.000-08:00

Jack and Jill Politics: A Call To Action: Stop These Clinton Attacks By Defeating Her

Please answer the call.

Monday Morning : Weekend Round Up

2008-02-25T06:40:00.001-08:00

Friday, seems like it happened a month ago. So much to cover where do I start?

1.

Got Robbed!!!!!!!!!!!! I find it funny that all of the major acting awards went to Europeans, not an A-Merry-Can in the bunch. Still Ruby Dee is a legend in theater, film, and activism. At 83, she is a woman I still admire and respect. This is what Ruby Dee had to say to the New York Post about her Oscar Nomination, "I've never been nominated for an Oscar before. I've never even been to the Oscars before. "I've been around forever... When I began, black people weren't considered mainstream enough for an Oscar. "So, in the habit of diminishing expectation, of not being included, for a long time I didn't even feel connected to Academy Awards. "But somewhere inside my bones I felt, if I didn't die too soon, something spectacular somehow might happen to me."

2.

Get somewhere and sit down!!!!!!!!!! I watched the debate on Thursday night and like many others viewed Senator Clinton's final statement as one of pending concession. Then comes Saturday and she attacks Obama like a pitbull who hasn't eaten in a week. Pointing her finger and crying shame on you that evoked images in my head of the massa's wife chastising the house negro who didn't serve the fried chicken while it was still hot. Shame on him, shame on you Senator Clinton for flip flopping from gracious to indignant to down right bitch mode. Your current behavior will not do much to correct the view of women in politics. There is a way to be effectively angry and you have not accomplished that with this latest attack.

3.

Please, not again Ralph. Many people say it was Ralph Nader's run for presidency in 2000, that cost Gore the election. I think Nader's run coupled with the Rovian tactics used by the Bush campaign cost Gore the election. Now in 2008, he chooses to run again. I have a problem with this, The Green Party, who Nader is often associated with, has a total of five candidates running for the presidential nomination for their party, including Cynthia McKinney. Why does he feel the need to throw his hat in the race. On Meet the Press, he stated it was because the true issues that the American people face are not being discussed. Fine. Can you not be an advocate without further splitting the votes? Honestly, we do not need another four years of a Republican candidate with a woody for war.

4.

Minister Louis Farrakhan has endorsed Barack Obama's presidential campaign. I can't wait to see how his opponents spin this one.

Happy Monday. I am patiently waiting for Tuesday night's debate on MSNBC, are you?

Dirty Laundry

2008-02-21T07:44:00.000-08:00

Why America? Why?

It never fails, we always put our dirty laundry on display for the world to see. We're so busy throwing rocks and hiding our hands that when the darkness comes to the light, the shining light is a huge spotlight that should illuminate large statues and buildings. There are some things that I've never understood about our national defense. When we create a new weapon, plane, or equipment it immediately appears on the cover of one of our national magazines or is a special feature on a morning news show. Do we still not realize, after 9/11 and the World Trade Center Attack that the majority of our enemies have cells in our own country. Which means they can purchase that magazine or turn on the television at any given moment and be privy to the information that we hold so dear. Honestly, do we really believe we're untouchable?

This whole spy satellite issue is no different. Now, when I first heard about the "spy" satellite, I was like, great we're shooting down a spy satellite. I didn't know it was our own rogue, inoperable satellite. I took a deep breath on that note. Then I found out it was the size of a school bus. The satellite was already falling and was scheduled to hit Earth around the first week in March. I held my head down in shame on that note. Then I heard that since the satellite became inoperable in December 2006, the fuel tank was still full, with Hydrazine, a substance that could quite possibly prove hazardous to human life if the tank were to crash in a populated area. With that, a huffed, puffed, and said, "Why God?" Who are these people who make decisions about what's going up in space, what it will contain, and how it could possibly effect the lives of the rest of us here on the beautiful planet Earth. No one asked me how I would feel about a satellite the size of school bus crashing into my backyard and wiping out my entire town like a bad B movie from the late 80's. Plus, internationally we have been put on the top of the list for anyone looking to pick a fight with the great international super power America. China is ticked. Do we really need more lead in our toys and toothpaste.

God Bless America!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, please, we need all the prayer we can get.

By Any Means Necessary

2008-02-20T05:40:00.000-08:00

"By any means necessary."

A phrase coined by one of the greatest figures in American history, Malcolm X. The theory behind that phrase has been picked up by some political candidates in recent weeks, as they launch attacks against the senator from Illinois in an attempt to end the momentum he is gaining daily. It's no secret, I am a Barack Obama supporter. Yes supporter, not an over zealous fan, or an irrational cult member. I have respected and admired Senator Obama since I first heard him speak during the 2004 Democratic National Convention. I believed in him then and I certainly believe in him now. Many criticisms have been made that Senator Obama is all smoke and mirrors. He is capable of giving an eloquent speech but he does not possess the skills to run a country. Senator Obama's opponents state that hope is nothing but in the same breath they use synonyms like : desire, wish, look forward to...things that make you go hmmm. They pick apart every sentence uttered from his mouth and now are doing the same with the words spoken by his wife.I've grown tired of the attacks. Not just because, I support Senator Obama but because they are rooted and grounded in false opinions. Barack Obama's website has always listed in detail his platform. His voting record is available in detail. This is the same man who released his tax return, in an effort to show that he has truthfully represented his income and where he receives his money. Yet, for all the good he does, Senator Obama still faces attacks on his character. Is it because his opponents now realize, that he is a worthy opponent, and playing on the fears of the average voter is the only to possibly defeat this man. By any means necessary. Smear campaigns. Lies. False Accusations. Research of kindergarten papers (my favorite line from last night's speech). Whatever it takes, they are trying to bring him down. Still, everytime he stands in front of a crowd, Senator Obama, speaks out against the false attacks in a respectful manner. No name calling. Just facts. His message is still one of unity. His message is still one of healing the divide that exists between the races, classes, and political parties. That's why people are drawn to him. Senator Obama delivers real solutions and admits that the powers that be, can't fix the problems of America on their own. His message is one of inclusion and not exclusion. By any means necessary, positivity, hope, and change will win this election.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-02-20T05:20:00.000-08:00

Wednesday Flashback

2008-02-20T05:10:00.000-08:00

Stop The Violence Movement - Self Destruction

Tuesday Morning Rantings and Ravings by Ki

2008-02-19T07:27:00.000-08:00

Tuesday Morning Rantings and Ravings by Ki
Monday was Presidents' Day, which meant the kids were out of school, and I had to work from home. It wasn't a very productive day. Between breaking up fights over who gets to eat applesauce or fruit cocktail with their lunch, television breaks, and just really wanting to take a nap, I didn't get much done. Ssssh...don't tell.

It was during one of my television breaks that I caught an old episode of My Two Cents on BET - J. This episode featured Felicia "Snoop" Pearson from The Wire and they also had a discussion on women and strength. Since its an African - American show the discussion primarily focused on how strong black women are perceived as "bitches". There was a clear division among the panel. Some felt that women should submit to the husband's or mates in situations where they held control and others thought that it was insane for a woman to give up any of her power in the relationship. The word submission really kicked the discussion into high gear. My mind went back to Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married. There were two characters who suffered from a similar ailment. Diane and Angela, played by Sharon Leal and Tasha Smith. Diane was focused on her career, and it held primary importance in her life. She put her career, clients, and dealings before her marriage and child. While Angela was very domineering and attempted to have control over her husband and marriage because she was the provider. Now out of the two I believe that Tasha Smith's character Angela is how most black women are often stereotyped, loud, full of attitude, and beyond reason. However, at this stage in my life I know more Diane's than Angela's.

Now submission is a difficult concept for the modern woman to accept. Merriam -Webster defines submission as:

To yield oneself to the authority or will of another :SURRENDER

In our minds by surrendering we are giving up our control in situations in our life. That's hard for me to swallow. I've been single for a long time now. I've gotten use to doing things the way I want them done. I was raised by both my mother and grandmother to have my own. Separate money. Separate goals. Never lose my own identity in my relationship. It didn't work in the past. I got so caught up in being in love and letting my man be a man that I sold my soul out to the devil. Often waking up after months and even years had passed like, what in hades was I thinking.

That's not me anymore. After years on my own, being the sole provider for my household. I grown very accustomed to making ends meet on my own and not looking to a man for assistance, completion, or reassurance. This worries me at times. I fear that when the time comes and its time for me to marry and settle down with the one, that I won't know how or even want to fall in line with Ephesians 4:22-24. Men often complain about an outspoken woman who will not allow him to be a man but in the same breath they will state that they don't want a woman who will lay down and allow him to walk all over her. Its a tightrope act, trying to be the woman that a man wants in this day and age.

At times I feel that women are taken for granted. We're viewed as these helpless creatures in need of a man for protection and support but fully capable of managing a home on our own. Raising children, working to add to the household income, and filling the role of public relations director for the family. Yet, when we walk in that control and exude a little too much confidence, we have crossed the line in to the bitch territory. So what is it that men really want? What do they need from the women in their lives?

It's Getting Personal And I Don't Like It

2008-02-18T05:20:00.000-08:00

The bulletin below was posted by the Clinton campaign last night. My problem with the Obama campaign. Last week there was a bulletin post with this shirt.

The post contained the subtle implication that men including Obama were urging other men to choose a man over a woman. I've heard this slogan since I was teenager in various different forms. Its not new for this campaign and its certainly not anything that Senator Obama would approve or condone.

Then I logged on this morning and caught the latest post.

More implications. Obama supporters are deranged and have a messiah complex when it comes to the senator from Illinois. I tend to overanalyze situations and this one was no different. Reading between the lines its almost as if Obama supporters are being compared to the extreme religious zealots who go on suicide missions and blow up others because they have no clear sense of reason of who and what they support. We've been transformed into these mindless zombies running around chanting "Yes We Can." I don't know about anyone else but I have complete sense and I am no where near mindless. I support Senator Obama because for once a candidate has inspired me to action. Whether it's something as simple as posting a blog or forwarding an email. Making phone calls from my home. Taking a moment to clarify with others who have been falsely informed that Senator Obama is Muslim and refuses to pledge allegiance to the American flag. I'm slaying nonsense daily. This bulletin is no different. When is the last time we've seen the youth of this country, excited about something other than a celebrity, rock star, or new movie. Right now across the country, regardless of gender, religious, or ethnic backgrounds there are youth 18 -24 energized and excited about this election. Suddenly, politics is cool again.

I like to think that Senator Obama has a lot to do with that. This election is historic. We've got two possible firsts that could occur. A woman in the White House or an African - American in the White House. We've got two candidates with strong platforms that are very similar but there's a real and undeniable difference between the two. One candidate will stop at nothing to sway the votes in her campaign's direction and the other possesses an integrity that cannot be denied. Senator Obama is presenting real solutions to real problems. At the same time he is encouraging individual involvement in the govermental process. Much like a past president that is still admired today, when he echoed the phrase, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."

I'm not looking for a Messiah. I have one of those already. His name is Jesus and I would never put a man on his throne. I'm not looking for a savior. I'm looking for a president who is ready to cut the b.s. On day one he's ready to work hand in hand with the people of this country. No more red and blue. Republican and Democrat. President, senators, representatives, and voters working together to restore our country. To heal the hurt that has come from over twenty three years of divison.

So I resent this bulletin posted by Hillary's campaign and I'll go on record right now that should she win the democratic nomination, I cannot and will not support her for president. I simply cannot. Not because I will be a sore loser, but because the way she is conducting her campaign indicates to me the way she will run this country on day one.

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My problem with the Obama Campaign
This quote pretty much sums up how I feel about what Obama has done to so many of my friends.

"Everywhere I went on Super Tuesday, I ran into Obama supporters, who were literally running around in circles and screaming "Yes, we can!" with glazed looks in their eyes. At best, it was embarrassing, but it also felt–deranged. I would love to be inspired by a candidate, and feel wildly excited and so forth–but, not to the point of losing reason. Surely, there is something to be said for dignity? Call me crazy, but I want an adult to run the country. A sensible one." (from TheStranger Blog)

And this blog is everything that scares me about the Obama Campaign.
http://obamamessiah.blogspot.com/

This blog really shows how crazy and out of control this Obamania has gotten.

I am not looking for a savior
I just want a leader to turn around this country, end this war, and fix our economy.
Hopefully people will wake up and start to see the truth behind all the hype and realize that Hillary is the real deal. Hillary is ready to take on McCain and ready to get things done.

Help Hillary win the upcoming Primaries

Hillary needs your help. Obama has alot of money and can run alot more commercials.

Take a Moment and Donate to the Hillary Campaign
or
Send out a bulletin and email to your friends inviting them to donate.

Honoring Black Love

2008-02-13T12:23:00.000-08:00

February is the month where we celebrate black history and love. So I decided to combine the two and make my own list of celebrity couples that I admire and respect. Here's my top 15. Who will be number one? Surely you already know that answer.

First- Honorable Mentions:

Shanice and Flex

Alexis and Kanye

Holly and Rodney

On with the countdown.

15. Kimora and Djimon

I love them together. This couple makes far more sense than Kimora and Russell together. Sorry Kiki, one day your African prince will come.

14. Kelis and Nas

Nas complements Kelis' quirky while she simmers down his gangsta. Whether or not you agree with his new project, you have to admit that they are bringing commitment back to the forefront.

13. Alicia and Kerry

Although she hasn't admitted it, Kerry Brothers is always at Alicia's side. In the studio, on the red carpet, or a charity event. They glow when they're around one another.

12. Mary and Kendu

Yes, I'm still bitter that we will never have another angry Mary cd, but I wouldn't trade seeing Mary J. Blige happy for a cd.

11. Keisha and Omar

What About Us? Keisha Spivey from Total doesn't have to ask that question anymore. She found her happily ever after as Mrs. Omar Epps.

10. Don Cheadle and Brigid Coulter

They've been together for over ten years and share two children. Although they are not officially married, they share a spiritual bond that does not appear to be breaking anytime soon.

9. Keisha and Forrest Whitaker

Class and sophistication comes to mind when I see this couple.

8. Larry and Gina

This marriage broke my mother's heart. However, they make a beautiful couple.

7. Janet and Jermaine

Say what you will. Make all the short jokes you like. Janet and Jermaine are truly happy.

6. Beyonce and Jay-Z

I have to echo the same note for Beyonce and Jay-Z, they are making commitment back.

5. Angela and Courtney

A modern day Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis. They are a perfect example for couples to mirror.

4. Cookie and Magic

I admire their perseverance, in spite of, HIV, this couple has managed to stay together for better or worse.

3. Pauletta and Denzel

He's Denzel. She hooked Denzel. I stand in awe.

2. Jada and Will

They ooze love. They beam with the love they feel for one another.

1. Michele and Barack

Come on now, you know our future President and First Lady would make the list.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ki

Wordless Wednesdays

2008-02-13T09:20:00.000-08:00

Wednesday Flashback

2008-02-13T05:46:00.001-08:00

In honor of Valentine's Day...

Smear Tactics via Clinton Campaign

2008-02-13T05:35:00.000-08:00

Prior to choosing the Democratic Candidate I would support, I sent friend requests to all of the front runners on MySpace. Hillary, John, and Barack. Since, I have become a member of Team Obama, I never went back and deleted the remaining candidates from my friend's list. From time to time Hillary's campaign will post a bulletin for all their friends to see. Tuesday evening was no different. The bulletin below was posted that night. I've seen the shirt before. It's sold on popular politically incorrect t-shirt sites like Cult Classic T's and Retroduck. The shirt however is not affiliated with the Obama campaign. I don't like, how that explanation was conveniently left out of the information posted by the Clinton campaign. Subtle and not overt. Room enough for denial without truly being seen as a liar, but we know the intent. I'm sick of the Clinton smear tactics and even sicker of the poor little me show that is continuously put on. From tears to cries of unfairness. What will be next? Check the post sent below, share your thoughts and ideas.

**************************************************************************

This is the kind of sexism that needs to be stopped. Sexism that is masked as some kind of joke or meant to be light hearted. I don't find this funny and I don't know how anyone could wear a shirt like this and call themselves a Democrat. Sadly Sexism is still alive in politics

Thanks to Bil from Bilerico for bringing this to my attention

On a lighter note, take a moment and write an email to Nancy Pelosi and share with her your feelings for Hillary and why you think Hillary should be President.

An endorsement from Nancy Pelosi would really help the Hillary Campaign. Word has it she is on the fence and I thought we could take this chance to share how we feel about Hillary with Nancy Pelosi.

Click Here to Email Nancy Pelosi

Let's show Hillary that we have her back -- make an online contribution today.

Contribute

Click To Contribute

Wednesday Flashback

2008-02-06T04:58:00.000-08:00

Don't Go by En Vogue from their first cd Born to Sing. This was my favorite track from that cd. I still believe that En Vogue is one of the most under-rated female R&B groups.

Smoke Screen

2008-02-04T06:14:00.000-08:00

Dave Chappelle's Black Bush episode is one of my favorites!!!! Ever!!!!!!!!!

As the current administration has progressed, the truthfulness of this episode has become more evident to me. I admit George W. Bush's term in office has been difficult. The terrorist attacks of 9/11. The war in Afghanistan and Iraq. Even the most diplomatic president would find the obstacles that President Bush has endured taxing to say the least. However, I've always believed that it's not about what you're going through but how you go through the trial. President Bush's attitude during his administration has left much to be desired. Instead of confronting issues head on and truthfully, there are excuses made and fingers constantly pointed. When valid questions are raised, attention is often diverted to less important issues. Much like Chappelle's outburst about gay people getting married during the video when someone raises a valid questions regarding the search for weapons of mass destruction. Art imitates life.

We see much of the same attitude today. Marches against Lesbian and Gay rights. Protests against women having the right to chose what they will and will not do with their own bodies. The witch hunt against professional athletes. Yet, we have wealthy corporations draining the life out of helpless citizens. Retired citizens have lost their entire life savings that they intended to live on during the last days due the greed of CEOs and CFOs across the nation. The Social Security System is broken. The expense of Healthcare is growing beyond affordability. Soon more US workers will be living without health coverage than with coverage. With the "No Child Left Behind" act, the educational gap continues to increase instead of decrease. Still the focus, funds, and attention is driven towards the war against terrorism. No, we can't walk away from the war that we started but I believe as a country we need to turn our attention to more than one important issue at a time. While the primary focus is on the war and the secondary focus on issues that are not vital to the quality of our lives as US citizens were slowly dying. Not a physical death. Our nation is regressing. Quickly losing its status as a superpower because we won't focus on the issues that will sustain us in the years to come.

Chasing A Dream

2008-02-03T10:46:00.000-08:00

I had a conversation with one of my close friends the other day. We were discussing monogamy in relationships. Wondering if it really exists. She shared with me something her mother told her. Every man cheats. Whether its mental, emotional, or physical. As women we have to accept it. We have to deal with it. We should only concern ourselves with the issue if the man is not taking care of home. If he is not providing for the woman and the family they share. There's an issue. If he should happen to bring home a parting gift - a child, STD, etc. There's an issue. Outside of that, we should hold our heads up, accept it, and move on. Something about that went through me. I couldn't relate and surely couldn't accept it. Call me naive. Call me a hopeless romantic. I just could not believe that was true of all men.

My grandfather had been dead for a few months before I found out he had one steady mistress during his marriage to my grandmother. That relationship even produced a child. My grandmother always retained her place as his wife. Their home was always taken care of. He provided for my grandmother as well as my mother, but he maintained this relationship over the years. The story of my father's life is quite similar. Maybe its something about that generation.
Still, I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. I've always had a dream of one day getting married and never questioning that I'm what that man needs or desires. Sure we all appreciate things of beauty. There's nothing wrong with looking as long as the mind, heart, hands, and body move no further. Yet now, I'm questioning if that dream even exists.

I spent most of Saturday celebrating my son's birthday with my family and my ex's family. My relationship with my son's father ended for many reasons. One of the primary reasons, infidelity. I couldn't trust that when he wasn't with me, he was faithful. Old habits don't die. After spending over six hours with him, nearly two of those riding in his car from destination to destination, I found that he has not given up that terrible fault. I listened to him handle two phone calls with women who were not his wife as he re-arranged dates and times of when they would meet for their next rendezvous. I became physically ill at all his off handed remarks about how the gym is helping the way I wear my jeans and wouldn't it be nice to test the waters for old times sake. Isn't this the man who just went on for twenty minutes in the restaurant about how he has been entrusted to stand in the pulpit and deliver the Word of God. That right there is a different blog. Then, I started to think about the conversation I had with my friend. Maybe her mother was right.

Surely his wife knew what he was doing in his spare time. As long as he took care of home and she could continue not to work, I really don't think she cares. So of course, I start to really over analyze this situation. If this is true, have I made the wrong decisions in the past leaving relationships behind because I couldn't trust the man to be faithful. Should I have ignored all the signs and situations I discovered and just maintained that as long as I'm number one, it just doesn't matter? Are my standards just too high? Should I leave behind that irreplaceable mentality, "If I'm not your everything, then I'll just be nothing."

I can't do it. I can't compromise what I want or need. So, I'll continue to chase my dream that a man exists, who will honestly just want to be with me. He will watch that fine woman walk by, breathe in her beauty, and remember that he's got the best thing since hip hop at home.

Welcome to Club Rehab

2008-02-01T07:18:00.000-08:00

They tried to make me go rehab...I said...No...No...No

Amy Winehouse joins a long list of entertainers and even politicians to take some time off recently and enjoy a vacation in her local rehabilitation facility. Addiction is no laughing matter. Still I have to wonder are these individuals truly serious about staying clean and seeking help for any mental health issues they may have, or do they view rehab as an alternative to jail time? I look at Britney Spears, and her life has spiraled out of control in the last five years. A woman who once stood at the top of the pop charts, classified as the second coming of Madonna, and a multi - millionaire before she could even drink is now on her second stint in the psych ward at UCLA Medical Center. Her children have been subjected to her insane antics and the media delivers a play by play of all her activities. Every gossip site dedicates the majority of their daily posts to Britney happenings. Now, sandwiched in between those stories are more tales of celebrities joining the rehab elite daily. Eva Mendes is now treating her substance abuse issues. It now seems like the in thing to go to rehab. VH1 has even created a reality tv show dedicated to D List celebrities in rehab. Each week we get a glimpse of their recovery period. VH1 even managed to find the long lost little sister from Family Matters. Dr. Drew talks to each celebrity individually and in a group setting. Trying to determine which past events in their lives are now contributing to their addictive behaviors in the present. Many of them can point out specific instances, physical or sexual abuse, party days of youth that got out of hand, and the usual list of excuses that stem from parental issues. None of these individuals accepted responsibility for their own actions. I know the sins of our parents and the issues of our past have a life long effect on us. Yet, it's our decision what we do with our lives. 99% of people in this world have had terrible experiences that they could use as a crutch to separate addictive and negative behavior. So why can celebrities blame all their issues on someone else and not have to accept responsibility for what they create in their lives. Its not Britney's fault that she's on drugs or suffering psychotic and manic episodes. It's her parents. It's her genes. Their working against her. Amy Winehouse didn't pick up that crack pipe. Her past hurt and pain made her do it. That's the only she could survive. It's time to grow up and be accountable. If the normal people of this world have to move past the hurt and pain of the past, so does everyone else.

Wednesday Flashback

2008-01-30T06:50:00.000-08:00

Music is a major part of our world here at Club Nouveau. Everyone has those songs that they hear, where they can recall every feeling they had the first moment they heard the song. One of those for me, is Keith Murray's "The Most Beautifullest Thing In The World." Immediately, I'm back in the car with my girls, Senior Year, riding around and enjoying life.

Things Better Left Unsaid...

2008-01-29T16:59:00.000-08:00

My grandmother has a little saying, "If they never opened their mouth, no one would know they were a fool."

Now I'm not calling Ms. Shepherd a fool, but there are some things that you should just not say. When she was announced as one of the new co - hosts for The View, I was somewhat excited. I had found Ms. Shepherd entertaining in her movie roles and I thought that she would bring the same presence to the show. I also knew that she was a stand up comedian and had been in the entertainment industry for over ten years. I thought that she would bring a fresh perspective to the show. It would be representative of African - American women who were in the prime of their lives. They are married. They are divorced. They are mothers. They are educated. They are successful. To me, Sherri Shepherd represented bits and pieces of all these women. Just as Star Jones showed that black women could be classy and intelligent. I expected Ms. Shepherd to pick up the torch and carry it further. Maybe, I put her on a pedestal that she was destined to fall from. Maybe, some of her less than intelligent remarks on The View, have been for entertainment purposes only. Surely this woman knows that the world isn't flat. We covered that in basic geography in grade school!!!!

Then there was the most recent comment. She's never voted. Now, I know that there are individuals who do not vote. I know a few. They have their own personal , political, and ethical reasons. Others simply don't want to. Yet, if you find yourself on a popular culture show that discusses religion, politics, and life, why would you open your mouth and admit to not voting. Again, to each their own, but we all know Barbara Walters is only going to take so many of these less than intelligent outbursts. Ms. Shepherd admitted that she's never voted because she didn't know the dates or understand the registration process. At the age of 41 she's missed out on roughly five presidential elections and countless local elections. The comedian admitted that she nearly missed the registration deadline for November's election. So yes, this will be her first year casting a vote in an election. Her reasoning, for finally completing the registration process, "I guess I can't complain on the show if I didn't vote." I guess you can't. Voting is about more than having a right to complain if things are not going right in the country or your local city. I couldn't wait to vote in my first election at the age of eighteen. It was Bill Clinton's re - election campaign and I thought I was hot to trot. It was important to me. It had been instilled in me by my grandparents, who grew up during the time when Black America was still openly viewed and treated like second class citizens. How could I walk away from an opportunity at having my voice heard. I digress...that's another discussion.

Perception is sometimes greater than reality. It troubles me that more and more of those who tune into The View, may believe that many women in the Black community may share Ms. Shepherd's lackadaisical view, content with being the life of party.