Thursday, May 22, 2008

Family Ties

My children are my life.

A recurring thought I keep having over the past few weeks. In many ways that's a good thing and sometimes it can possibly be negative. The love that I feel for my children rivals anything I have ever felt in my life. In a moment I can possess superhuman strength if they need to be rescued, saved, or kept from some pending evil or doom. I can turn into a cross between Rog's mom from What's Happening, Florida Evans, and Weezy Jefferson if I need to deliver the pain. I can soulja boy across the living room floor, play a quick game of Tekken, dress a few barbies, and even catch a cramp on the basketball court. I'll do anything for my kids. What happens when we can't save them from hurt, harm, danger, or even sickness. This morning I read an article about Christian Music Artist, Steven Curtis Chapman, his five year old daughter was killed by an SUV that hit her. The SUV, was driven by one of his older sons. How do you grieve for the loss of your child but at the same time console the one who caused their death. Life.

I watch this same dilemma with my step sister and her husband. Their oldest daughter became ill last fill. She had continuous seizures. Tests were done to diagnose her with epilepsy. Instead of determining that she had epilepsy, they found five small clusters of tumors on her brain stem. Medication and Chemotherapy followed. A vibrant nine year old was reduced to a sickly, bedridden child. Soon she regained her strength, appetite, and feisty nature. All while her family, friends, and church members prayed for the best. Nine months later, a reversal of fortune. The clusters are growing rapidly. More medication, chemotherapy, and now radiation. How do you tell a ten year old with gorgeous hair down her back, that it could possibly not grow back in the spot where the radiation will be concentrated. It's affected her life. She's no longer schooled with friends but home schooled because of the constant appointments and trips to the doctor offices. She can run and she can play for a while, but she has to stop when she tires out. Without a moments notice she reverts from ten to three. Crying and wanting you to comfort her out of fear. She's scared and how do you ease that fear. You can say all the prayers in the world but how do you take what she's feeling away? How do you tell her to ignore it? You can't, because her battle is real.

My children are my life.

I can put a band - aid on a cut. Pass my little girl her inhaler when she can't breathe. I can't imagine losing them or dealing with an illness as severe as what my niece goes through. I'm content being super mommy and I don't want to think for a moment that won't always be able to fix their problems. Right their wrongs. Kiss away the hurt. My children are my life.


Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

i feel u
mine are mine as well
love them in the store